All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom