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He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
they need to just BURY HIM!
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
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