Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.