He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I intend to get homeless drunk
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.