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Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
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