He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.