I puked a lego.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I just made out with a guy for $7.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.