Little spoons don't ask big questions
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
well you can't waste a boner
i think i have two assholes
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.