i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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