After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Girls should come with a carfax report
Found the puke drawer
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together