Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
