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Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
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