I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS