I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?