So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.