Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul