Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.