She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie