when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.