She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.