Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
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he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
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If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore