Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying