note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Who did Billy Mays play for?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?