Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying