Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.