I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
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He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
My ATM looks so different sober.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
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she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.