Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
We just shotgunned beers for America
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.