It's never too late to be topless.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
We just shotgunned beers for America
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?