Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Ohio (614)

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  My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.

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  (614): My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation. http://tfl.nu/2cc3
  Replies (12) Good night (723) Bad night (4990)
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  i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free

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  (614): i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free http://tfl.nu/fc7m
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  how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.

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  (614): how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity. http://tfl.nu/zm0j
  Replies (19) Good night (4602) Bad night (1462)
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  Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?

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  Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women

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  (614): Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once? (410): Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women http://tfl.nu/hhx6
  Replies (11) Good night (3291) Bad night (744)
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  I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to

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  (614): I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to http://tfl.nu/gbtt
  Replies (52) Good night (843) Bad night (5893) Order T-Shirt
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  just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.

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  (614): just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch. http://tfl.nu/9ahk
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  you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"

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  (614): you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers" http://tfl.nu/unf8
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  I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now

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  (614): I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now http://tfl.nu/fog4
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  Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.

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  (614): Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by. http://tfl.nu/jzor
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  just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.

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  (614): just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society. http://tfl.nu/uah3
  Replies (31) Good night (1344) Bad night (3875) Order T-Shirt
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  I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook

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  (614): I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook http://tfl.nu/grvu
  Replies (20) Good night (568) Bad night (4330) Order T-Shirt
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  So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night

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  (614): So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night http://tfl.nu/bxgc
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  if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it

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  (614): if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it http://tfl.nu/vfj9
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  Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?

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  (614): Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party? http://tfl.nu/rikb
  Replies (52) Good night (12673) Bad night (665) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  im so drunk with asians

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  where?

  (614): View more from Ohio

  always

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  (614): im so drunk with asians (1-614): where? (614): always http://tfl.nu/is91
  Replies (43) Good night (7292) Bad night (617)