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My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
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