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i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
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