Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (337)

Last Night in Louisiana (337)

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Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.

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(337): Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night. http://tfl.nu/5kyl

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Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.

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(337): Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture. http://tfl.nu/8896

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so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.

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(337): so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now. http://tfl.nu/ckx3

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Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.

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(337): Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex. http://tfl.nu/wf1h

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I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.

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(337): I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way. http://tfl.nu/vl3g

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The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party

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(337): The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party http://tfl.nu/w848

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Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine

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(337): Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine http://tfl.nu/2dy1

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All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"

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(337): All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!" http://tfl.nu/qrwa

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Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta

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(337): Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta http://tfl.nu/2wvh

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Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?

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(337): Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think? http://tfl.nu/0xiw

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i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...

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wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb

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(337): i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think... (985): wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb http://tfl.nu/zhoe

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There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.

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(337): There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back. http://tfl.nu/dznq

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you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm

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(337): you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm http://tfl.nu/y579

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Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.

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(337): Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life. http://tfl.nu/xhxl

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Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.

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(337): Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm. http://tfl.nu/whuj

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Last Night in Louisiana (337)

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