Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Florida Space Coast (321)

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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?

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  (321): Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding? http://tfl.nu/i6fm
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.

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  (321): I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever. http://tfl.nu/o4s7
  Replies (3) Good night (669) Bad night (260) Order T-Shirt
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.

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  (321): Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever. http://tfl.nu/zuk0
  Replies (12) Good night (2494) Bad night (334)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening

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  (321): I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening http://tfl.nu/wlci
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...

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  (321): Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face... http://tfl.nu/4hpu
  Replies (3) Good night (292) Bad night (609) Order T-Shirt
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...

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  (321): I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward... http://tfl.nu/s7n4
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.

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  (321): He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF. http://tfl.nu/s52i
  Replies (9) Good night (1284) Bad night (331) Order T-Shirt
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.

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  (321): You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again. http://tfl.nu/b1s4
  Replies (2) Good night (466) Bad night (1056) Order T-Shirt
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.

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  (321): I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see. http://tfl.nu/2cw0
  Replies (3) Good night (752) Bad night (361) Order T-Shirt
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?

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  (321): What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire? http://tfl.nu/hf7l
  Replies (14) Good night (1640) Bad night (558) Order T-Shirt
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag

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  (321): He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag http://tfl.nu/8y86
  Replies (16) Good night (1654) Bad night (516) Order T-Shirt
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow

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  (321): Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow http://tfl.nu/go53
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...

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  (321): Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games... http://tfl.nu/gpo9
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.

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  (321): It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical. http://tfl.nu/ps02
  Replies (17) Good night (2990) Bad night (614)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?

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  (843): New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard. (321): Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman? http://tfl.nu/4ln7
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