He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...