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Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
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