The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.