my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?