Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (908)

Last Night in New Jersey (908)

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My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.

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(908): My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes. http://tfl.nu/8gcz

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But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes

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(908): But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes http://tfl.nu/c86w

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My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.

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(908): My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar. http://tfl.nu/kqtr

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there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.

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(908): there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted. http://tfl.nu/lb4w

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I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level

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(908): I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level http://tfl.nu/dixb

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Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME

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(908): Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME http://tfl.nu/m336

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She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird

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(908): She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird http://tfl.nu/j88i

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This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me

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(908): This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me http://tfl.nu/8neg

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): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.

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(908)): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing. http://tfl.nu/g33r

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She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.

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(908): She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears. http://tfl.nu/al07

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i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago

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(908): i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago http://tfl.nu/q8gp

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Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...

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(908): Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night... http://tfl.nu/qo8t

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a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.

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(908): a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester. http://tfl.nu/e11n

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the vacuum is drunk

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what?

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i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk

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(908): the vacuum is drunk (703): what? (908): i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk http://tfl.nu/sgxh

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Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"

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(908): Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings" http://tfl.nu/7jzd

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Last Night in New Jersey (908)

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