Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New York (631)

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  I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?

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  (631): I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend? http://tfl.nu/hi71
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  On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world

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  It's like a tribute to you being a slut

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  (631): On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world (1-631): It's like a tribute to you being a slut http://tfl.nu/t5j2
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  I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?

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  (631): I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory? http://tfl.nu/wpyo
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  It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.

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  (631): It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots. http://tfl.nu/yevq
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  I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday

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  (631): I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday http://tfl.nu/jy9z
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  She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.

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  (631): She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink. http://tfl.nu/f50x
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  Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.

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  (631) Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you. http://tfl.nu/pf1f
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  By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.

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  (631): By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made. http://tfl.nu/sjsx
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  Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.

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  (631): Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions. http://tfl.nu/8mk0
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  our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college

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  (631): our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college http://tfl.nu/4e15
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  if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org

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  .org?

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  yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.

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  (631): if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org (516): .org? (631): yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night. http://tfl.nu/4hpr
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  I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill

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  omg. that's awesome

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  (631): I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill (1-631): omg. that's awesome http://tfl.nu/py18
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  Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?

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  (631): Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later? http://tfl.nu/fnnu
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  did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?

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  (631): did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic? http://tfl.nu/zced
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  i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.

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  (631): i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to. http://tfl.nu/8bc1
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