Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore