you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
34 Tweets About Student Debt That Will Make You Laugh and Cry At The Same Time
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
14 Craigslist Ads That Will Make You Lose Your Faith in Humanity
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
32 of the Pettiest, Most Hilarious Reasons People Have Broken Up With Someone