I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.