I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon