Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Michigan (586)

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity

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  (586): Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity http://tfl.nu/negt
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  1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night

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  2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street

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  3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call

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  So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you

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  (586): 1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night (586): 2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street (586): 3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call (586): So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you http://tfl.nu/crcb
  Replies (8) Good night (1527) Bad night (359)
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  This girl is very crazy

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  She's one of those compassionate ppl

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  So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her

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  (586): This girl is very crazy (586): She's one of those compassionate ppl (586): So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her http://tfl.nu/xowa
  Replies (2) Good night (609) Bad night (1130)
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  Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number

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  (586): Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number http://tfl.nu/4mkf
  Replies (5) Good night (1760) Bad night (449)
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  On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless

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  (586): On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless http://tfl.nu/z7nx
  Replies (6) Good night (862) Bad night (1055) Order T-Shirt
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  If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me

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  (586): If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me http://tfl.nu/rhnt
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  I mean a good dj is a huge turn on

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  (586): I mean a good dj is a huge turn on http://tfl.nu/qjzn
  Replies (10) Good night (1114) Bad night (431) Order T-Shirt
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  I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures

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  I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy

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  But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it

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  (586): I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures (586): I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy (586): But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it http://tfl.nu/x4v2
  Replies (7) Good night (1340) Bad night (609)
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  Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?

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  No?

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  Well my cheeks are red now

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  (586): Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut? (313): No? (586): Well my cheeks are red now http://tfl.nu/a31l
  Replies (3) Good night (591) Bad night (965)
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  There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering

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  (586): There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering http://tfl.nu/580n
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  In the future we'll all be gay

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  (586): In the future we'll all be gay http://tfl.nu/j6qt
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  Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less

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  (586): Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less http://tfl.nu/ah1z
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  Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?

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  Cause it just destroys penises

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  Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore

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  (586): Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex? (586): Cause it just destroys penises (586): Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore http://tfl.nu/7ohb
  Replies (11) Good night (824) Bad night (931)
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  I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts

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  (586): I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts http://tfl.nu/hmun
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  There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks

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  (586): There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks http://tfl.nu/aadi
  Replies (16) Good night (2746) Bad night (572)