I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
my being single is dangerous.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic