Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Texas (210)

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  (210): View more from Texas

  I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.

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  (210): I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now. http://tfl.nu/26wy
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  You know you think of me naked too

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  Not since I found Jesus

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  (360): You know you think of me naked too (210): Not since I found Jesus http://tfl.nu/jext
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  We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".

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  (210): We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness". http://tfl.nu/kq4n
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  well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry

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  (210): well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry http://tfl.nu/jusc
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  And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.

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  (210): And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses. http://tfl.nu/edcx
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  masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.

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  (210): masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know. http://tfl.nu/gdcq
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  I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.

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  (210): I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do. http://tfl.nu/dd4u
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  With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created

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  (210): With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created http://tfl.nu/4ngz
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  I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.

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  (210): I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them. http://tfl.nu/a4vh
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  Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys

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  (210): Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys http://tfl.nu/9bus
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  Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.

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  (210): Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it. http://tfl.nu/gvf3
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  Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping

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  (210): Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping http://tfl.nu/by8h
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  Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.

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  Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.

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  (210): Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that. (682): Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude. http://tfl.nu/g9al
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  cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens

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  (210): cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens http://tfl.nu/njf7
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  Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?

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  I'll teach you how to wipe better

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  (210): Dude why does my asshole itch so bad? (1-210): I'll teach you how to wipe better http://tfl.nu/7pt4
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