I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes