i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me