the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh