if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.