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Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
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