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that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
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