After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.