He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
this must be what syphilis tastes like
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"