And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
this must be what syphilis tastes like
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.