Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in