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Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
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