I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.