we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I'm fucking your sister right now.