She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News