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We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
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