My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.