Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"